Finding My Voice.... and my story

Who are you? 

For those of you who saw the video of me speaking last weekend, this is going to be a bit of a repeat. Yes, I did it, I actually stood up in front of a crowd and spoke. My good friends will know how rare that is for me, because I have a fear of public speaking :) 

A friend of ours, named Kristin has a great foundation to support military wives. To see what she's all about check out her website Northwest Military Wives

Last weekend, they had a foundraiser to raise money for a retreat for military wives.

They decided to honor me at the event and she asked me to speak. 

Now, when she first invited me to speak I thought, no big deal I can talk about Jimmy's Walk. I thought his cross-country walk to raise awareness for Veterans Mental Health issues was why she asked me to speak. I thought,sure I can talk about him. I hate speaking, but I love my husband and I do support what he is passionate about. 

She said.... no Heather, we want to hear your story. This is about you.

My first thought was.... but I don't have a story, I'm just me. I'm nothing special. 

This is what we all think isn't it? We go through our lives, doing life. We get up, take care of what needs taken care of, trying not to let too much slide, go to bed exhausted and repeat. 

I talked with my kids (20, 16, and 14) about this. I talked with a few of my good friends. They all said of course you have a story, you are phenomenal.... look at what you do!

I thought about this for awhile, what is my story? What do I really care about? Who am I? This conversation went on in my head for a few weeks while I figured out what to do about this speaking thing. Remember, I am not someone who likes to be the center of attention and to speak in front of people is one of my biggest fears. 

I realized, I had to speak. I needed to find my voice and encourage others. You see, so many of my friends have lost themselves. I lost myself too for quite awhile. I realized I do have things to say and I am terribly passionate about it. 

As women, we lose who we are in the busyness of being Mom, Spouse, Career person, etc, etc, etc. We get so busy taking care of everyone and everthing that we don't take time to check on ourselves. How often have you been introduced as "Owen's Mom?",  Sergeant X's wife, the room mother, the worker etc?  When you meet someone new, what is one of the first questions you hear? What do you do?  We are defined by these roles, rather than being who WE are.

Take a moment, and think about what really matters to you. Not your kids, not your spouse, not your job... YOU! What brings you joy outside of those roles? 

Stop being their mom, his wife, the Nurse/teacher/etc... By saying this, I don't mean drop your responsibilities. Of course I want you to keep doing your life. You need to take care of your loved ones, we all do. We have to work to pay the bills. 

But I want you to give yourself the space to be who you are. Find what makes you happy! Does going for a jog make you smile and help you relax? Then go for a run, find a way to do this at least once a week.  Do you like to sing? Belt it out girl! Is sewing your thing? Get a machine and do it.... or are you like most of us? Have you forgotten what brings you joy?

I bet you have, at least once or twice.... I bet you have felt isolated and alone. Floundering, with no real clue what to do next. You just keep getting up, feeding the kids, pasting on a smile for your husbands and kids and people who don't really know you. 

Stop doing it.... It's okay to admit you feel lost. It's okay to say I'm not happy and I'm lost. Reach out to the people you trust. Shoot reach out to me! I will talk with you. 

Start taking baby steps to figure out who you are and what makes you happy.

 My challenge to you.... start to find yourself! Do ONE thing this week that brings you joy. Stop listing all the ways you failed each night. Give yourself a break! Life is real and messy and hard. There's no such thing as the perfect person so stop trying to be that person.

Do the thing! Come back and tell me what you did for you! What made you smile this week!  Blessings my friend, we are all in this Crazy Life together :)