Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Give yourself a break........ There is no such thing as SuperMom or SuperDad!

I know I don't post that often, life as we all know keeps me insanely busy.... Today though, today I feel the need to share something. Not because it's earth shattering but because maybe someone needs to hear it.
People often call me supermom or superwoman. I juggle quite a bit in my life and on the surface I appear to have it all together. Unfortunately, i think some of my friends even think that if they are struggling with what they have on their plates they aren't measuring up because I have more going on and I can do it.....
Let me clarify for you my friends.  YOU AREN"T ALONE! There isn't a parent out there who doesn't get overwhelmed at times. There isn't a working parent who doesn't feel like the house could be cleaner, there isn't a parent in the world who doesn't think that they are screwing up their kids sometimes, we all think that we should be doing something better.... Remember you tell your kids, if this is your best it's good enough???? Give yourself that Grace!
Parenting isn't perfection, it's not possible to acheive that so give yourselves a break. 
Yes, I am balancing somehow my kids, being the Mom taxi, the house, graduate school and working. I may appear to some to have it all together and be flawless.... That is as far from the truth as you can imagine. Yep, I'm juggling it, but I often drop the balls.
I spent some time on the phone today with a friend in crisis, a friend who is feeling the pressure of trying to do it all and not measuring up to the standard they set for themselves. As I spent that time talking to them, I have a mountain of laundry on my couch (clean, but still being folded and put away), my sink was full of dishes from breakfast, the floors need to be swept and vacuumed and i have three classes worth of grad school work that i need to be doing. Not to mention the paperwork for Karah's girl scout thing and most likely a few other things I'm forgetting....
i don't have it all together, i just balance as best as i can. it's been several hours since that call and some things have gotten done (the dishes, and more laundry is folded) and others are still waiting. I will likely be up late tonight finishing up some of the schoolwork.
I prioritize whatever i have going on for the day, and when i feel like life is a drudge (and let's face it who doesn't) i remind myself that although the work of the house is NEVER done, there is a point to it. If you show up at my house unannounced, you will likely find it to be lived in, with dog hair on the floor. There might be clutter on the counters, the dishes might be sitting in the sink, and the never-ending laundry will likely be in some state of getting done.
When i get to feeling too overwhelmed, I give the family the teamwork speech.... we are a team, I need your help, pitch in!  I try new chore systems on a regular basis, everything works for awhile, but I have yet to find a system that didn't eventually lose interest. I do cook most nights, because I enjoy cooking... but I have a teenager who cooks if I need her too, and my husband cooks on Sunday's because I'm too tired from working by then to do it.
Every parent has days where they just feel overwhelmed, talk to your spouse if you have one, or a friend if you don't. Please, reach out to someone and be brave enough to admit how you feel. If it's me, i'm likely going to offer suggestions and advice (because I'm a fixer that's just who I am) of things that have worked for me.
I'm also going to tell you that it's okay.... You aren't doing a bad job, you don't have to be perfect. Lighten up on yourself, give yourself a break!
Tomorrow... I'm going to post some suggestions I do have about the drudgery of housework, some things that have worked for me, some things that haven't, or didn't work for long. For today I just wanted to tell you to be nice to yourself. Are you too tired to cook tonight? Give them sandwiches or cereal, or if they are old enough tell them to fend for themselves!  It's okay to do that sometimes....
For now, I'm going back to Mount Laundry and getting ready to get one of these girls to help me make Tamale Pie for dinner.....

1 comment:

  1. I apologize for all the lower case i's.... I have no idea why it did that!